


Broken

by Bellatrix_Wannabe_89



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barisi - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9189581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellatrix_Wannabe_89/pseuds/Bellatrix_Wannabe_89
Summary: Sonny Carisi is quickly falling head over heels for Rafael Barba, but he can't admit it to anyone. He can barely even admit it to himself. But when the squad catches a case where someone who is raping affluent gay men in Manhattan turns his sights to the ADA, will Sonny find the courage to speak up and tell Barba he loves him or will he be too late? Barisi





	1. Chapter 1

I own no one but my own people  
"Carisi? Carisi? Carisi!"  
Dominick 'Sonny' Carisi Jr. jumped at the final calling of his last name and turned towards the source of the voice.  
"What's going on?" he asked the blonde woman who was looking at him with a hint of a sly grin.  
"Oh I think you know exactly what's going on," she said as she nodded towards Olivia's office where their commander and her best friend Rafael Barba were having a private conversation. "You've been staring for the past five minutes. You're getting kind of obvious there, Sonny."  
Carisi's heart began pounding unnaturally hard against his chest while a cold sweat broke out on his brow.  
He thought for sure he had managed to hide it, not just from his best friend in the squad but from everyone. What if Amanda told? What if the Lieu fired him? Nah she seemed pretty liberal. But oh God what if Barba-!?  
"I think you're barking up the wrong tree though," Amanda continued. "She's our boss and from what Fin says, if you don't have an Irish surname and blue eyes she pretty much looks right through you. Not to mention the current Irishman she's dating looks like he benches about 300 and could crush you up in a ball."  
The Italian detective narrowed his eyes in confusion for half a second before realization hit him like a ton of bricks.  
Amanda thought Olivia was the object of his staring; not the man she was talking too.  
He laughed, half out of the absurdity that he would be into a woman sixteen years his age and half out of relief. His secret was still safe. She hadn't figured it out.  
"Well that's just because you've never seen Italians fight. We could easily take those potato eating micks."  
Rollins chuckled as she turned back to her computer to work on her paperwork. Once he was sure she was no longer paying attention he turned back to look at the real object of his affection.  
When he was younger he always thought he was straight. He liked women, he had sex with women, he fantasized about women, he even had preferences; dark hair and dark eyed Italians and Hispanics. Both groups passionate and hot blooded, strong, beautiful, although his mother said more than once that she preferred that he settled down with a nice Catholic Italian girl instead of a Hispanic girl but... Both groups definitely got his motor going.  
Yes, he occasionally noticed a good looking dark haired brown eyed male, but that didn't mean he was Gay. Plus, his friends were from old school Italian families. They had zero patience for anything outside what they considered the norm and had no problems letting others know what they thought of homosexuals or anyone that was darker than they were. Carisi would always laugh right along with them when they made their jokes but he would be lying if he said the tiniest bit of his heart broke whenever he did.  
But when he was in college he became close with a young Sicilian; Lorenzo Gentile. Lorenzo was fit and trim with sleek black hair and dark brown eyes and a smile that would light up a room who was also a Criminal Justice major. He was a bit of an oddball, choosing to stay home and read instead of going out with the guys, a bit touchy feely, wore slacks with a belt and a button down shirt to class instead of jeans and t-shirts, but Carisi felt himself growing close to the young man and pretty soon they would spend most of the time they weren't in classes together, he took Carisi to his favorite bar to hang out on the weekends, Carisi always thought it was a little weird that the bar never had too many females in it but he didn't linger on that fact too long.  
It didn't take long for Lorenzo to reveal his secret to Carisi. He was gay, he had always known he was Gay and he fully embraced himself. It was a bit of a shocker but Carisi didn't care. Lorenzo was his best friend. Carisi could tell him everything and Lorenzo opened up everything about himself to the future cop. He never felt close to anyone as much as he was close to Lorenzo.  
One Sunday night when they were watching the Jets slay the Patriots in Lorenzo's apartment. The two of them sat close on the couch their knees touching as they watched the game together but Carisi didn't mind it.  
Then it happened. The Jets scored the touchdown that would put them in the playoffs. Both men jumped up, spilling over the bowl of popcorn and half empty beers but neither of them cared, hugging as they cheered for their team. Then something happened that would change Carisi's life. He didn't notice Lorenzo's face was so close to his so when Carisi turned, his lips brushed against his.  
Carisi was frozen, unable to move as his lips rested on Lorenzo's. Finally, they pulled apart and a silence came over the apartment. He raised his fingers and brushed his lips where another mans had just been. It felt different than a female's kiss. No slippery lip-gloss, his lips weren't as soft and the prickly hair on Lorenzo's upper lip brushed against Carisi's.  
It was different... but as he stood there, his mind whirling a million miles an hour, he realized he didn't hate what happened or was disgusted by it. The brief kiss actually felt... nice.  
Lorenzo took a step closer, brown eyes locked on blue as he took his hand and held it for a moment before he leaned in and kissed Carisi again, actually participating instead of just standing there like a statue.  
Once again Carisi froze for a moment before he kissed him back, finding himself more and more turned on the more Lorenzo's lips moved expertly against his, unable to help the low moan when Lorenzo's lips left his and made his way behind his ear, sucking and kissing on that one spot that was directly connected to his groin.  
That night was the first night Carisi was intimate with a male. His friend laughed when he told him he was nervous, that he thought the only way men could be together was with anal and he wanted nothing to do with that. Lorenzo not only assured him that wasn't the case but showed him as well.  
He guided him through everything, asking permission before he touched anywhere. It was slow, intimate, romantic... Carisi didn't just enjoyed everything his friend did but he found himself wanting more of what Lorenzo had to offer him.  
Carisi spent the night with him, his arms wrapped around the young Sicilian who snuggled up close to him. That morning they got ready together, laughing and giving each other quick kisses, just being happy and adorable together.  
But then when they were outside his apartment building Lorenzo went to take his hand and Carisi snatched his hand away like he had been bit, his eyes wide.  
Didn't Lorenzo realize they were in PUBLIC? What if someone saw? Carisi already got shit from his friends just for hanging out with an openly gay man, with one or two of them joking that Carisi might be gay himself, and now Lorenzo wanted to hold his hand?  
"Babe, you okay?" asked Lorenzo.  
Once again Carisi cringed, looking around, knowing for sure that everyone on the block had heard that. "Come on, Man, don't... don't do that, not in public."  
Lorenzo narrowed his eyes half in confusion, half in anger. "...Excuse me?"  
"Ya know, that gay stuff," he whispered lowly. "In public, the hand holding, the pet name... What if someone sees?"  
Lorenzo pursed his lips as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "So I'm good enough to give you a blowjob but I'm not good enough to hold your hand in public is what you're telling me?  
"What the hell is the matter with you?!" Carisi hissed at him, his heart pounding hard. He was sure someone had heard that... "We're in public! Are you some kind of moron or something?!  
Lorenzo's swallowed hard, biting back tears.  
Carisi's face fell as he looked at the man he had shared an incredible night with. He didn't mean to call him that, it just slipped out.  
"Lorenzo, I'm sorry."  
Lorenzo shook his head in disgust and took a step away from him.  
"Go to hell," he spat at Carisi before he stormed away from him, willing the tears from his eyes.  
That was the last time that Carisi and Lorenzo spoke.  
Carisi decided that since he had liked what he and Lorenzo did, along with the fact that he was in fact attracted to males, although that took a while to admit to himself, that he was gay. He told no one, he didn't go to gay bars, or marched in the parades, it was just something about himself that he knew he had to hide and laugh along with when his friends made hurtful jokes.  
But then one night he had gone out with his friends and a beautiful curvy woman named Rosa Hernandez with caramel skin and dark curls and smoky eyes caught his eye and he wasn't just attracted to her, he was turned on by her and she by him.  
So that night they had sex, and he got hard when she touched and kissed him, he came, and discovered that he was just as attracted to a nice rack as a pair of strong arms, although he would have been lying if he said his preference didn't fall towards more effeminate men.  
After he discovered he was still very attracted towards women thanks to Rosa, but at the same time was attracted to men, Carisi just threw his hands up, decided to just go 'screw it, I'm bi' and he called it a day.  
However, even if he admitted it to himself, he still had issues accepting what he was. The fact that his mother had a 'hate the sin, love the sinner' mentality meaning she 'didn't have a problem' with gay people, she just thought what they did was disgusting, dirty, and would burn in hell if they didn't repent didn't help matters. His friends didn't even bother with the 'love the sinner' part. They hated anyone that wasn't straight, and made no bones about letting anyone know.  
His first partner on the job was an evangelical who could recite Biblical texts at the drop of a hat told Carisi on several occasions he wouldn't help gays that were in trouble, that it was God punishing them for what sins they committed.  
So Carisi just kept it to himself. His partner, his family, his friends... none of them knew that he was bi. He had only actually dated one guy since college but eventually his boyfriend was sick of being introduced as 'his friend' and not even able to hold Carisi's hand in public.  
The detective had sex often enough, both women and men, although with the men he went into an area where he was sure no one would know him and none of his buddies would ever be caught dead even walking by. And he had a small handful of relationships with women but actually dating and having a relationship with a guy?  
No.  
Then he had walked into the 1-6 and he had met Rafael Domingo Barba, and he was hooked. He had power, passion, he was the most intelligent man Carisi had ever come across, and his sass and sharp wit had brought grown men to tears.  
His eyes were dark and playful, and his smirk could bring the Italian to his knees.  
Barba was also not only gay, but had absolutely zero problem with himself and accepted it fully. He didn't announce with fanfare and fireworks nor did he play the cloak and dagger routine like Carisi had to do, Barba just looked at it as something about himself that was as normal as the fact he was Cuban.  
Carisi prayed to God one day he would have that same strength.  
But Carisi knew that Barba was way out of his league. Yeah they had both come from poorer neighborhoods and both went to law school but now Barba was upper middle class, he had gone to Harvard and graduated Summa Cum Lade, he was on first name basis with the men and women who shaped the countries laws...  
Barba went to wine tastings, Carisi went to sports bars. Barba went to art exhibits and didn't think twice about spending $5,000 on a painting just to decorate his condo with it, Carisi went to video game tournaments and had to count change to make sure that he had enough to buy a souvenir t-shirt.  
Barba had no issues telling anyone the gender of the blind date that Olivia had set him up with, Carisi still had to force a laugh when one of his friends thought they were the first person to ever come up with 'Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve'.  
They were too different. As much as Carisi wanted to pretend they weren't, that he might actually have a chance, he knew it wouldn't happen for him.  
So he resolved to just spend his days silently pining over the ADA while at the same time telling himself he had to get over him.  
It wasn't working out that well...  
Carisi stared at the ADA for a moment longer before he turned back to his screen and began working on his paperwork.  
After about an hour or so he leaned back in his chair and threw a balled up ball of paper at Rollins who looked up from her own screen.  
"Let's go get something to eat," he told her. "I'm starved."  
"You ate half a box of cannoli's this morning!"  
"That was like five hours ago!"  
Amanda chuckled before she nodded and stood up from her chair. "Fine. You're buying though."  
"Isn't that like ten different dinners you owe me?"  
As the two detectives got up to leave they passed by a man in a gray jumpsuit who turned to look at their retreating backs.  
"Yo Sonny!" the man called out making the two of them turn back to him.  
Carisi narrowed his eyes in confusion at the man who beamed at the young Detective and opened his arms. "Sonny it's me!" he said, a thick Statin Island accent shining through. He had thick black hair slicked back and dark brown eyes with a body that was large not from fat but muscles.  
When Carisi said nothing the man tried again. "Come on... Tony Baggio! Class of 2001! Go Stallions!"  
Another moment passed before Carisi's eyes went wide and he threw open his arms, grinning at the fellow Italian. "Tony!"  
Tony laughed as he walked over to the man and they hugged, clapping one another on the back.  
"How you been man?" asked Carisi as he pulled away, the two classmates smiling at one another.  
"Good, good. Hey I hear you went to Law School?"  
Carisi nodded. "Just waiting on the BAR results. But what about you, what the hell are you doing here?"  
Tony smirked as he pointed to the name on his jumpsuit. "You are looking at the newest NYPD garage mechanic. I work right across the street."  
"How the hell did you get a job with the city?"  
"Pure luck, Sonny. Pure luck. So uh... who's the blonde?" he asked as he looked Amanda up and down.  
"That's my partner. Amanda come say hi to my buddy, Tony Baggio. Tony this is my partner Amanda Rollins."  
Amanda walked over to the mechanic and stuck out her hand. "How you doing?" she asked with a friendly smile.  
"A lot better now that I met you," Tony said with what he perceived to be a romantic smirk as he took her hand and brought it to his lips.  
Amanda's grin fell and took a step back from the Italian. The blonde cleared her throat and nodded to her partner, "so you ready to get going?"  
"Where you two off to?" asked Tony as he took the smallest step towards Amanda.  
"Just going to get some lunch," she answered as she took another slight step back.  
"Oh that's good I haven't eaten yet. You mind if I join ya?"  
Not noticing the 'don't even think about it look' Amanda was throwing him, Carisi opened his mouth to say yes when a voice behind the trio interrupted him.  
"I'm sorry guys but lunch is gonna have to wait.  
The three of them turned around to find Barba standing behind them. As hard as Carisi tried he couldn't help but notice how perfectly fitted Barba's suit was. God he looked good in dark blue...  
"Why what's going on, Consoler?" asked Amanda.  
"Carisi, you're free to go but Amanda, we need to prep your testimony for the Nickers trial."  
Tony, who had previously been ignoring the ADA, whipped towards him. He didn't even attempt the snicker when Barba's effeminate tone reached his ears.  
When he first realized he was attracted to men, even though he held a preference for the traditionally less masculine, Carisi had always rolled his eyes and found that sort of stereotypical persona annoying. There was no way, or so he ignorantly thought, that kind of almost stereotypical way of speaking and existing came from a real place, it had to be a farce.  
But as he grew older and gotten to know and hooked up with several gay men, he realized it wasn't a charade. They acted like that because that was who they were and they had no shame in it. When it came to Barba, who he was, how he spoke, how he acted was genuine and real. It wasn't something he did to bring attention to himself or to make himself stand out, that was who he was.  
Now when the counselor spoke or acted a certain way, Carisi didn't find it annoying or attention seeking. He found it adorable because it meant the ADA didn't care how others thought of him.  
Although he would be lying if he wished that he had toned it down some with his old high-school buddy standing right next to him…  
"Right right, I almost forgot about that… Sorry, Carisi," said Amanda, genuinely sorry she wouldn't be able to go to lunch with the person who was quickly becoming her best friend but relieved she wouldn't have to spend an outing with Tony.  
"Hey no problem, this saves me a few buck," the Italian said with a smirk.  
"Shut up," she said with a small laugh.  
Barba just snickered softly before he turned to Carisi. "Before I forget, here." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of notebook paper with several handwritten cases scribbled on it.  
"Get very familiar with these cases," the ADA told the Detective. "BAR exam loves when you cite the more unknown cases, not just the most obvious."  
"This is great," Carisi said as he glanced over the list. "This'll really help me out, thanks Counselor."  
"No problem, and if you get stuck on any of them be sure to give me a call okay?"  
"Will do. Thanks."  
To any onlooker what happened next would have been a totally innocent moment. Barba reached out and gave a friendly soft clap on Carisi's shoulder.  
The older man smiled at the detective before he removed his hand and he and Rollins turned and left the bullpen.  
The lightest touch from the ADA sent his heart soaring, even if it was literally making something out of nothing but at the same time he could have sworn Barba's soft hand lingered a moment longer than what would be considered normal.  
Or was it all in his imagination? Was he simply looking for clues that weren't there? But that smile. Oh God that rare smile made him weak. Not a smirk, but a genuine smile, one he had only seen so far directed at Olivia. But lots of friends smile at one another. Didn't he and Rollins smile and laugh with one another most days?  
He was reading way too much into this. A touch was just a touch and a smile was just a smile… right?  
"Wow," Tony said with a scoff once Barba and Rollins left the main bullpen. "Quality of ADAs have gone down-hill quite a bit huh?"  
Carisi turned to his friend and narrowed his eyes in confusion. "What are you talking about?"  
Tony scoffed like the remark was obvious. "Come on, Sonny… He might as well have been wearing a rainbow flag cape. The guy is as queer as a two-dollar bill."  
Carisi swallowed hard, struggling to show that his friends words didn't affect him.  
"Yeah but I mean the guy got a full ride to Harvard and graduated top of his class, he got a 198/200 on the BAR. He's the most intelligent man I ever met," he argued, trying not to appear that infatuated with the ADAs intelligence.  
"No man that likes having a dick shoved up his ass is intelligent," Tony said with another laugh like it was the cleverest joke that he ever uttered. "You like that shit, you're pretty much borderline retarded."  
Carisi felt his heart crumble and his face fell. He wanted to defend not only his crush but his colleague and friend, the man who had helped him prepare and study for the most grueling test he will ever take, who had taken him under his wing, who actually gave him a chance to prove himself as more than just some dumb wop from Statin Island…  
But, as he stood there in the bullpen with one of his oldest friends, he couldn't help but revert to his old ways and he did the only thing he thought he could do in this situation.  
He laughed along with his friend.  
"True. Book smart don't mean common sense," said Carisi with a laugh, feeling his heart break even more.  
God he hated himself…  
Tony nodded in agreement before he nodded towards the door. "So you still feel like getting lunch or was that offer only open to the hot little blonde?"  
"Nah we can go get something to eat. I know a great little place down the street that does a great slice."  
As the two men walked out of the bullpen, neither one of them noticed Rafael Barba with his back turned to them so they wouldn't see him, struggling to swallow his tears and not show his emotions over the conversation he had overheard when turned back to grab the briefcase he forgot in Olivia's office, trying to ignore the fact that the detective the ADA had developed a crush on laughed and agreed with the man who had called him less than intelligent because of his sexual preferences.  
God he hated himself for falling for him...  
I know it cut off kind of quick but the case and romance is coming, I promise. I just had to get the introductory stuff out of the way.


	2. Chapter 2

I own no one but my own people

“So sex crimes huh?”  
Tony and Carisi sat in the outdoor table, both eating a rather large slice of pizza for lunch before they both had to return to their job.  
Carisi nodded as he took another large bite.   
“Never thought you'd be into that kinda shit. Pretty messed up, man.”  
The detective swallowed the bite of pizza in his mouth and shrugged. “Not really. I just....” He shrugged. “I hate seeing a woman hurt.”  
Tony laughed like he had said something funny. “You always were a pussy whipped son of a bitch.”  
Carisi forced a chuckle, beginning to remember exactly why he and Tony didn't keep in touch after high school.  
“I mean in my opinion,” Tony began with a mouthful of pizza, “you go around actin' like a slut, you can't be surprised when a man treats you like one.”  
“...Nothing excuses rape, Tony,” Carisi argued, his temper beginning to flare.  
“Well I mean come on, Sonny, there's RAPE rape and then there's crying crocodile tears because you didn't want your daddy to find out you messed around. I mean you've been on the job a few years now, how many times was it just the girl putting some poor bastard through the ringer?”  
“None actually...”  
Tony laughed again. “You're getting played and played bad, Sonny!”  
Carisi said nothing as Tony took another bite of pizza. “So uh, while we're on the subject of messing around, that cute little blonde you work with, that one has an ass that won't quit.”  
“Don't,” Carisi barked. “You can say whatever you want about anything else buy don't talk about Amanda like that.”  
Tony threw his hands up in mock surrender. “Sorry, sorry... Wait, are you hitting that?”  
“No.”  
“... Can I hit that?”  
“No!”  
Tony rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to argue before Carisi's phone rang.   
“Sorry,” he told his companion, sounding as non apologetic as he could before he answered his phone.  
“Carisi.”  
“We got a case,” Olivia's voice rang through the phone. “Rollins and Fin are already at the hospital with the vic, you wanna meet me at the scene?”  
“Sure, Lieu. Be right there.”  
After she said she'd text him the address Carisi hung up the phone and turned to Tony who was finishing up his pizza.   
“I got a case,” Carisi announced. “I gotta get going.”  
Tony nodded as both men stood up. “I gotcha. Since I'm working across the street what do you say me and you go get a drink later on?”  
Carisi nodded, not quite wanting to hang with him longer then he already had but not wanting to be rude either.  
The two old friends exchanged numbers and a handshake and then without another word Carisi left him with a sigh of relief to be away from him.  
The young detective drove to the address that Olivia texted him. It was a fairly wealthy neighborhood full of New Yorkers who had come from old money.  
Carisi pulled up to the building amongst all the other cop cars and CSU before making his way up to the apartment where Olivia was waiting in the doorway looking down at her phone.  
“What do we got, Lieu?” he asked as he approached.  
Olivia, who at this point had gotten used to her subordinates nickname nodded at him and put her phone away.  
“One male victim, 43 years old,” she explained as they walked into the apartment. “Neighbors found him unconscious stripped, bloody, and beaten.”  
Carisi looked around the well put together apartment for a moment. “Guy come in through the window?”  
Olivia shook her head. “As far as we can tell, no locks were broken on any window, doors...”  
“A building like this, any noise would have alerted the neighbors and they would have called the cops so he wither sneaked in, blitzed him or the victim knew the guy.”  
The commanding officer nodded in agreement as they walked into the bedroom. Carisi couldn't help but flinch at the large red stain in the middle of the bed.   
“Jesus... He really worked him over didn't he?” he breathed.  
Olivia nodded as they walked over to the bed. “Perp used zip ties to subdue the victim meaning this was planned. Also found duct tape with hair and blood on it, like you said in a building like this he would have needed to keep his victim quiet.”  
The detective tried to concentrate on his superiors words but he couldn't take his eyes away from the tiny wet drops at the head of the bed.  
Tear marks...  
He shook his head and cleared his throat, forcing himself to turn away from the marks on the bed. “Is the victim saying anything?”  
“Rollins just texted me, he's out of surgery, she and Fin are talking to him now. What I want you to do is go to security, see if they have any security videos and what they can give us.”  
Carisi nodded and with one last look at the tear marks he turned and left the apartment.  
…  
“Mitchell? Mitchell, I'm Detective Rollins, this is my partner Detective Tutuola.”  
Mitchell Turner was a 43 year old man with blazing blue eyes and what normally would have been neat slicked back blonde hair.  
His face still appeared young and on a normal day wouldn't have been seen without a dazzling smile but today it held nothing but a bruised and bloody face and a fat lip.  
Amanda waited until their newest victim was looking at them before she continued.   
“Can you tell us what happened?”  
Mitchell sniffed and shrugged, glancing down at the blanket as he did. “I don't wanna talk about it,” he muttered, a voice that was normally confident and strong now weak and afraid.  
Fin and Amanda looked at one another before they turned back towards the man. “I know it's hard to talk about something like this, but it'll help us catch the man who did this to you,” Fin told him as soft as he could.  
Mitchells bottom lip trembled as he looked at Fin, his eyes fluttering over to Amanda then back to Fin.  
Amanda got the message and without a word slipped out of the hospital room and softly closing the door behind her.  
“Now can you wanna tell me what happened?” the seasoned veteran asked.  
Mitchell sniffed and nodded, unable to look Fin in the eyes as he spoke.   
“That's good, Mitchell. Real good. Did you know your attacker?”  
“I only met him that night,” he admitted. “My company just landed a five million dollar investment and I went out to celebrate at the Townhouse.”  
“The townhouse?”  
“Its this... this gay bar in Manhattan. Very upscale,” he muttered.  
Fin nodded as he noted it in his tiny notepad. “You've never seen him before? Maybe you remember someone following you?”  
“No, never. I would have remembered him.”  
“Did he pick you up, you pick him up...?”  
“He picked me up. He um... He was really sweet, funny, sexy...” Mitchell wiped away his tears. “I actually thought to myself that I could see myself dating him.”  
“So you're out?”  
He nodded again. “I've been out a few years now. But we went to my apartment and I poured us a glass of wine and after a while we went into the bedroom.”  
“How many drinks had you had?”  
“Not a lot. Just a cocktail drank over an hour and half a glass of wine.”  
Another note in the notebook.  
“When you went into the bedroom everything was consensual?”  
“Yeah. We were kissing, touching each other... He wouldn't take his jeans off yet though. It was going really great and he um... he got on top of me... and he... He called me a fag.”  
Fin watched as he wiped away more tears, getting visibly upset the more he continued. “I told him not to call me that, thinking he was just really into talking dirty but he called me that again. I told him to get off me and that's when he hit me in the face. He pulled out zip ties out of his jeans and tied my hands to my bed.  
He told me if I scream he'd kill me and... and he um... he raped me. He kept calling me THAT word during it, calling me a sissy, a bitch, he kept calling me 'she' and 'her', made me say I was dirty, unclean. He was telling me that since I was gay he knew I liked this.. he kept beating me when I didn't listen to him and he...” Another wipe of his tears. “He kept making fun of me for crying but it hurt so bad...”   
Fin tried to hide his disgust as he continued to take notes, wanting to kill the man that did this to this man. “What happened after he was done?”  
“He just got up and left, left me zip tied to the bed. I passed out and I guess my dog finally made enough racket for one of the neighbors to come check to see what was going on. Because when I woke up my neighbor was on the phone with 911 and had covered me up with a blanket. He took my watch after he finished. It was a Rolex, almost ten thousand dollars. I bought it after I landed my first investment...”  
“Can you tell me what he looked like?”  
“White guy, dark hair dark eyes... Um, he was young, clean cut. About thirty, about 6'3, 250 but he wasn't fat he was buff.”  
“Got it. I'm gonna have you work with a sketch artist later tonight okay?”  
Mitchell nodded as Fin shut the notebook and put it back into his pocket. “We're gonna get this guy, Mitchell. I promise.”  
Mitchell said nothing as Fin got up and walked out of the room and instead just turned and looked out the window as tears made their way down his face...   
…  
He let out a loud grunt as he finished his bench presses, setting it back on the rack with a loud groan before he sat up on the bench and wiped the sweat from his eyes.  
His apartment was nothing more than a miserable shack in the worst part of Hells Kitchen. The wallpaper was peeling off the walls, there was more than one cockroach scurrying across the floors, and there wasn't an hour that went by that wasn't full of police sirens.  
The man made his way into his bedroom and admired his body in the mirror for a moment, large and buff with no visible fat to speak of.  
Smirking as he flexed his muscles, he glanced at the list of names taped to his mirror. Three were crossed out and he couldn't help but grin as he grabbed the marker on his dresser next to the four gold luxury watches; what those 'men' for lack of a better word used to flaunt their status. To let the world know they were better then the rest of the world.   
The man crossed out the name 'Mitchell Turner', the third from the bottom. He couldn't help but frown as he looked at the remainder of his list. He was almost done with his hobby. He had almost collected all the men he wanted with only two left. A Chief of Sugary who lived out in Queens named William Cartier and, last but certainly not least...  
A Manhattan ADA named Rafael Barba...


End file.
